Illness

This week as been kind of a long week so far. I've been sick for most of it and it's not even Wednesday yet. I have a stupid sore throat, stuffy head and sore joints. The only thing I have been able to do is lay on the couch and sip green tea. So there really isn't a whole lot to report yet, so instead lets just get right into the good stuff.


Now we all know that illness can be a real drag, especially when trying to remain undetected by the undead. Here are a few helpful tips to help keep you healthy and safe from everything from the common cold and to the Solanum virus. (For those of you who do not know, the disease that causes the dead to become undead is called Solanum virus). In this age of health care, doctors, and medicine, having the most basic of health care is critical. Before the dead rise, and before most hospitals become undead traps, take full advantage of seeing a doctor for a wide variety of things.

1) Allergies. If you thing that you possibly have allergies to anything, be it shell fish or basic dust, a simple allergy test will give you the advantage of knowing this before it becomes a problem.

2) Injuries. The LAST thing you need to worry about during an uprising is that damn bum knee you have. GO TO THE DOCTORS! Stop thinking that if you just rest if that it will get better. The gamble that it might get better verses the chances that it'll hurt your further is not worth it.

3) The old fashion, common cold. Now while a doctors visit may be unnecessary as a basic cold can be treated with "over the counter" medicines, an Upper Respiratory Infection may cause a few extra problems. Should it be a cold, have all the supplies needed to treat it. Think of it this way, do you really want to give your position away to the zombies because of a stupid cough. Cough Drops people. So you might want to start stocking up now. On the other hand, should you have a URI, having it not only diagnosed but treated with antibiotics will keep it from turning into something much worse.

Now as I stated, staying away from Hospitals before, during and after the up rising starts, it may be necessary to go to Hospitals. This truly should be a last resort option for the simple fact that hospitals will be crawling with former patients, visitors and staff. One option to research before going into a hospital would be a wide range of herb remedies that could treat your symptoms. Humans have been using herbs, plants and spices for ages to treat illnesses. A knowledge of plants and herbs, as well as possible allergies or allergic reactions(see earlier reasoning) will assist you in treatments.

IF you must go to a hospital, there are some simple things to remember...

1) Structural/Building knowledge. If it is at all possible, find someone who worked at the hospital or worked on its construction because knowing a building lay out will be one of your greatest ally. The in's and out's, the areas of highest zombie concentration, and most important, where your target objective will be at. So if your going for medications, knowing how to get in, get it and get out with a little zombie attention will be to your benefit.

2) Dangers. Besides zombies, a hospital is a melting pot of fungus, viruses and diseases that are just as deadly as the zombies. Non-functional lights, barricaded or destroyed stair wells, rotting floors....the list goes on and on. Swift but careful and calculated movements will be needed to retrieve whatever it is you are looking for.

3) Safe Zones. You are in the lions den, staring at the lion and his company. You are separated from your group and are now on your own. Do you know what to do? All to often a group goes half cocked on a raiding mission and half, if not all, never return. Knowledge is the best weapon that we have. Lets start using it people. If you know that an infested area is getting the best of you and the chances of separation are increasing, having a detailed plan to fall back on will save your ass.

This last bit of information may be a little......strange, but these are strange times.

4)Candy Stripe Nurse Zombies. Now I know what your thinking, who would fuck a zombie....WELL, the question should be who wouldn't want to. Vampire freaks fuck other humans, why not zombie freaks. A few basic things to remember. Foreplay is good under most circumstances. Biting; Good idea. Zombie biting; Bad idea. The simple fix for this will be to gag the zombie and then duck tape its mouth. Sorry gent's but oral sex with a zombie will just not end well for you. Another idea for you S&M types out there, a gag ball is always a possibility. Another thing to remember is the fact that diseases can still be spread, so make sure that you use the proper protection. Over all, I would not highly recommend this because, well, you think it was bad when parents walked in on you having sex when you weren't prepared. Think about the problems you will have when the flesh eaters stagger in on you and you aren't prepared.

Now for humans on humans, the best thing you can do for yourself is keep your weapons next to you at all times. However, not all positions leave you capable of reaching your weapons. Such positions like Missionary will leave you in a vulnerable state, and who knows if that will be the time they converge on your location. So, such positions as Reverse Missionary for the women and Doggy Style for the Gent's will keep your hands free and your eyes a fixed to whatever may stumble onto you.

Until next time, keep your weapons clean, your ears open and your sex drive pumping. Come on people, we eventually will need to repopulate.

~The Cajun Zombie